


Angel's Tips for Raising Demon & Demon's Tips for Feeding Angel

by starsnape



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: 中文
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:31:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsnape/pseuds/starsnape





	Angel's Tips for Raising Demon & Demon's Tips for Feeding Angel

天使的恶魔驯养手册  
Title: Tips for How to Raise Demon  
1.对工作上心是好事，然而一个恶魔对工作上心，负正得负就是一件坏事，所以他，亚茨拉斐尔，用午餐约会来打乱恶魔的工作节奏，这就成为了一件好事——这话是克鲁利先提出来的，不过经过谨慎的忖度，他觉得还挺有些道理。  
1\. It is good to work hard, but it will be bad for a demon to work hard. So it will be good, for Aziraphale, to obstruct a demon from his work with a lunch date. This idea was mentioned by Crowley but he found himself agree with it after plenty of deep thought.  
2.恶魔会对盆栽发脾气，这是一种急需治疗的心理疾病的症状。不确定巧克力是否能对减轻症状起到作用，但是至少可以确定的是，在注视天使吃巧克力时恶魔的表情会变得温柔很多。  
2\. Demon shouts at his plants, it is an omen of mental illness. Not sure whether chocolate may help him or not but at least he behaves much more tender while watching angel eating his chocolate.  
3.恶魔喜欢睡觉，而且最近养成了拿天使当枕头的习惯。后者认为这是一种讽刺和暗示：你该减肥了。  
3\. Demon loves sleeping. Recently he thinks of Aziraphale, who believes it is demon's sarcasm, his best soft pillow.  
4.恶魔有起床气，但天使已经掌握了安抚它的诀窍——吻一下他的额头。  
4\. The demon would be in a bad mood when waking up, but our angel has known what to do to heal it, a kiss on the forehead.  
5.克鲁利是个心地善良的恶魔。如果没有堕落，他们在一起会是一对善良的好伙伴，不过其实他们现在也是，而且恶魔的羽毛十分柔顺好摸，亚茨拉斐尔没有什么不满。  
5\. Crowley is a kind nice person. They will be a couple of good angels if he did not fall from heaven. But demon's wings do feel addictively smooth to him.  
6.尽管有如上原因，克鲁利毕竟还是一条恶魔，擅长欺骗和诱惑，在他说出“我真的不是骗你”之前不能相信他嘴里说出的任何一句话。  
6\. However, Crowley IS a demon, good at lying. Never believe his every single word until he cries: For hell's sake I'm not lying!  
7.永远不要和恶魔一起跳舞。  
7\. Never dance with a demon.  
8.恶魔最在意的是他开了九十年的宾利。另外目前还没有找到有效的手段制止他在伦敦街头超速驾驶。  
8\. The most thing he cares about is his Bentley. For now, unfortunately, the solution to stop him from over-speed driving has not been found.  
9.驯养恶魔是非常危险、充满困难、极具考验耐性的任务，但相信在六千余年的不懈努力下，克鲁利已经被顺利引导，成为对人类无害的有宜恶魔。  
9\. Raising a demon is a dangerous difficult job asking for extreme patience. It is believed that Crowley has hopefully been led to a harmless good demon after 6000 years' continuous influence of the good side.  
  
恶魔的天使饲养手册  
Title: Tips for How to Feed Angel  
1.天使会对不务正业成天厮混表现出抗拒，但这并不代表他讨厌这样，他只是需要有人帮他找些借口，打消罪恶感——没办法，谁让他是天使，他是恶魔呢。  
1\. Angel will show resisting to hang around with him, though actually he likes it, very much. He just needs someone to help to remove his guilty feeling cleverly with a few excuses. He's angel, after all.  
2.给他巧克力他就会开心——说真的，没有比天使更好养的生物了。  
2\. Chocolate is all good enough to make him happy, the angel is easier to entertain than any other creature you can find.  
3.天使一旦生气，无论何种情况下，一顿午饭总是管用的。  
3\. In all conditions, when the angel gets angry, just tempt him to lunch.  
4.如果想给睡觉时找个好枕头——比如亚茨拉斐尔的肚子什么的——最好是在一顿甜言蜜语和眼神攻势之后，而不是一顿丰盛的晚餐之后，因为会惹天使不高兴。  
4\. Finding a nice pillow to sleep on, for example, Aziraphale's soft stomach, better ask it after a sweet talk instead of a heavy dinner, which somehow will make him upset when you do it.  
5.若是万一有一天，天使堕落了，成为他的同类，他一定立刻带他去半人马星座，丢下地球上的所有烂摊子，要是对方再找理由推脱，就用圣水要挟他——只是开个玩笑，亚茨拉斐尔是全天堂最纯洁善良的天使，他才不许他堕落呢。  
5\. If one day his angel falls too, he will take him together to alpha Centauri immediately or God knows anywhere away from the earth. And dare he refuses again, Crowley will threaten him with holy water. Just kidding. He will never allow Aziraphale, the purest angel in the whole heaven, falling.  
6.天使总会愿意和他去任何地方做任何事，只是需要一点适当的劝诱。毕竟天使那么爱他，才不舍得对他真的说不。  
6\. His angel loves him so much and never actually means No when he says No, and would always say Yes just after some appropriate temptation.  
7.永远不要和天使一起跳舞。  
7\. Never dance with an angel.  
8.天使喜欢书，喜欢书店。当他遇到一本急切想读的书时，是他唯一想驱逐恶魔的时候。  
8\. Angel loves books and bookshops. When and only when he meets a book he wants to read immediately, he gets rid of the demon.  
9.最近又胖了点。  
9\. Technically getting fat a little.


End file.
